always have faith...........

dear jo, dom, em, dylan, and nicky:

i've done something today that i haven't done in over a decade. go to an actual church and stay for the whole duration of the mass. yeah, i've been to weddings, christenings, and occasional sunday mass but not because i want to but i am part of the event or accompanying someone. i usually go inside but sit at the back and not participate at all.

so waking up this morning, i figured that maybe i should go back and listen to the mass. yeah, all mass are the same and unless there's something exciting going on, nothing will change. i went by myself and realized how much i have alienated myself from my religion. what happened to me? did i got bored from my church? growing and studying at a catholic school (which is literally at the back of the church) has always been my excuse why i stop going. good reason but a lame one if i might add. i don't know what made me go today. was it the fact that one of my friends back in pinas always give thanks for every meal or was it the fact that i've met someone who even though is not as lucky and privileged as i am still makes time to go to church even at 6 am - all tired and ready to go to bed. maybe that's it.....or maybe it's just that as we grow old, we tend to find something that will make us at peace with our selves and that we require some higher power to guide us in our daily lives.

i know it's weired for me to write such blog but i am trying to wonder why all of a sudden i this feeling to re-connect to my religion. i don't want to make promises that i will be a going to church every sunday. what i can promise (which has also been my view ever since stop going) is that i believe in a higher power and that i believe in my religion.....it's just that i don't practice most of it.