my guardian ANGEL...

last saturday, January 24 at around 7 am, i receive a message on FB from a grade school friend of mine trying to confirm if the news is true.  i was half awake/half asleep so it took me a while to actually register what she was talking about.  she forwarded me this message that was sent to her by another friend of ours - "jen, we really need to meet.  angelito jst passed away."  all of our grade school friends know that angel (as we call him) and i are best of friends.  first reaction was shocked, then denial.  i immediately called angel's house phone hoping angel would answer to say it's not true.  the first try went to a never ending phone ring.  i tried once again and this time, it was his sister who responded.  the first sentence that came out of my mouth was if the news about angel is true.  i did not specify what was the news.  she only responded with one word - yes.  with that, i just lost it.

i know that angel was sick since the beginning of the year.  he even sent me a picture of his name tag when he was confined in the hospital.  he assured me that it was nothing to be worry about, just a routine.  

on january 17th, i sent him a message to check on his status.  no response.  sent another one on the 18th and still nothing.  on the 20th, i decided to call his house.  i spoke to his mom and advised me that he was still in the hospital.  i got a bit concerned since it's been a long time since he was admitted.  i sent him another message....nothing.  on the 22nd, i tried and this time, i told him that if he does not respond to me, i will tell our friends to reach out to him.  you see, he did not mention about his confinement to anyone except to selected few. and the fact that i live half a world away, i can't just visit him.  then by the 24th, everything changed.  my one and only best friend, angel, joined our dear lord on january 22 at 3:15 am.

yes, it's been tough week so far.  i would be lying if i said it's not.  i just try to remember the good times rather than this one sad day.  

last year, he posted on his FB page what would his true friends would say, a eulogy,  if he passed away.  i did not respond to his request and actually message him why such a morbid request.  he just said he saw it on a movie and thought it was a great idea.  being his best friend, how can i say no even if i do not want to.  i sent him my eulogy (below) on October 2nd, his birthday.

Hello everyone,        To be honest, when I was asked to speak today, I refused several times because I don’t know where to begin or how to begin.  As you might imagine, this is very difficult for me. I’m trying to figure out should I go for the good memories or just tell everyone Angel’s deep dark secret.  But I figured since he’s not around, let’s go for the good stuff.  Angel loves gossip anyway so why not talk about him.  It is his big day. Just kidding. I am definitely not going to talk about how good, kind, and friendly Angel was.  Everyone who went before me and those who will follow will cover that.  So here goes… I believe all of you know that Angel and I go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back.    In grade school – we dance our ass off….literally.  Yes, Angel and I were in a dance group.  I guess that is where our friendship started….i think.   Or was it during the boy scout jamboree (YES, Angel and I were boy scouts at one point) that was held in quezon city circle.  I believe it was a 3 days/2 nights event and during one of the nights, we had our first fight.  The following day, we're friend again. Anyway, since there's no high school in Sto. Nino, who knew that we were going to the same high school….we’ll to be honest, AHS was not Angel’s first, second, third, and maybe even fourth choice.  He wanted to go to UST like his ate and kuya.  I guess it was meant to be since AHS was my only choice hence faith made sure that Angel go there as well...too bad for him.

Angel and I were not really that close during the first few years in high school.  He was finding his own group and I was doing the same thing.  Being together for 3/4 years in grade school, and then moved to another school, it's us again??  Hell to the NO!!!  But in the end, we became friends again.  Lucky me right?  I guess it was our destiny to be best friends.  After high school, well that was it.  While Angel enjoyed college (not the school but you know….) in UST  – so there, his wish was granted to go to this school....too bad it was in college and not high school – I moved far far far away.  Of course, how can Angel and I not keep contact?  That would be impossible!!!  Every time I go back home (which is like every year), Angel has always been my constant companion.  Yes, I emphasize the word CONSTANT!.  To Angel’s teacher colleagues, yes, he was with me all those times.  He was not sick at all!!!  It was all a F* lie!!!  Even my relatives wonder how can Angel go with me island hopping during school week.  I just always say for Angel, fun first, then work (JOKING!!!).  Angel is more than just a best friend to me.  He is and will always be a family.  My family loves him and he loves them back as well.  That is what I love about Angel, he loves people.   I know how much we will miss Angel but please do not leave here today feeling empty or sad.  Be happy that God shared with all of us one of his angels and now he is back home.  Try to live and enjoy life for Angel because Angel did lived for all of us. Best Friend, Bro – This is not a goodbye, this is just to say bon voyage for now and have the best trip of a lifetime. I love you.

**one of angel's request if he passed away, red tulips...


  1. We just lost our stepfather too. :( Condolence to you, Mike and to Angel's family.

    1. thanks. condolence to you and your family as well.

  2. so sad to see this. but "bon voyage" to him.
    hope you're okay now. somehow.



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Growing up, I used to want to change the world. Now, I just don't give a damn.


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